In the householdfamily, part of the whole family, we grow up and learn what love and reliability is. How do we shape that, do we show it? Do we pronounce things or not. Do we have an eye for each other, are we seen and heard, is there fun and can you make mistakes? Do we matter? How do you deal with positive and negative emotions? Have you learned to set limits, to share with someone else? Do we share our worries with each other, do we comfort the other? Sometimes things don’t work out so well, or even badly, and we unconsciously learn a way to deal with them. It can certainly be helpful at that moment, but is it still helpful in other relationships later on? You take yourself with you everywhere, you are the key ring:). If you don’t feel good about yourself, it’s almost always because of “fuss” in relationship with someone else. Without satisfactory answers, loneliness, depression and illness lurk.
Things aren’t going well in your family. Immediate reasons can be a divorce or forming a new family. Or maybe there is hassle with adult children, or old painful emotional isseus in the family, disagreement about the death of a family member, a partner retired or with dementia. You have difficulty with the practical side of the changes. Emotions increase and the cause is still hidden. You feel you can do better, and then together we’ll see what the best approach is.
Depending on your question, an appropriate course of action will follow. These can be personal conversations with individuals, joint conversations with all those involved or sessions on the spot in the family. I do this from a contextual perspective, taking into account all the people involved in the process. This vision also provides insight and tools for loyalty problems, the balance of giving and receiving, intergenerational issues, and gives a lot of support in repairing conflicts.
Your relationship sucks. Why is that? Feelings have changed, doubt or annoyance is piling up or old pain is very hindering. You can’t find a way in this together, although you’d like to. I create the space in which you can look at it together.
For relationship problems I broadly follow the line of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) and work from the contextual vision.
We look at ways of dealing with each other, at the needs, at the origin of patterns and what influence these have on the relationship. Because of this, connection and the pleasure in each other usually grow again. A new view emerges on how to deepen a relationship and create more space for loving. I work from a contextual vision that takes into account all the people involved in the process. This vision also provides insight and tools for loyalty problems, the balance of giving and receiving, intergenerational issues, and is very helpful in repairing conflicts.
Besides relationship therapy it is also possible to follow a workshop.
* Workshops for couples: Feelgood together course -click through to trainings/workshop page
* Training for professionals who work with couples
I give at Leren over Leven- Institute Contextual Studies and soon also at the EFT Network.Take a look at www.lerenoverleven-oics.nl. .
Looking for answers, solutions, insight, help? Depending on your question and situation, we will choose from various guidance options, always based on the combination of coaching and therapy. This gives you insight into any blockages or undesirable patterns that we are going to break through. It’s all about the connection of head, heart and hands. This means that your personal experience and the need to come to practical solutions will be addressed.
Work/life balance, returning to work after illness or dismissal, life issues around essence and meaning, loneliness, being meaningful, depression, lethargy, guilt, career and inspiration, burn-out, sleep problems, vague physical complaints, educational problems
Together we examine your strengths, behavioural patterns and beliefs. During that research you will learn where your question, complaint or problem comes from. How you deal with it and how it can be done differently. You gain insights and opportunities to examine your behaviour or vision of life.
You see that your child has trouble with things and you look for support for that. In the introductory meeting we will determine together how you, your child or you can best be helped.
WHAT uncertainty / fear of failure, problems with anger or sadness, divorce problems, obesity / eating problems, perfectionism, sleep problems, headaches and abdominal pain, problems with peers, bullying, concentration problems, being together, playing together, and discovering your own qualities.
Getting started individually: A child should be comfortable in his or her own skin. Unfortunately this is not always the case and a child can use extra support.
I work with the child in a creative way. We are going to do things. In the meantime, we talk together. I see how the child is and what it’s up against. After about 4 sessions, I will discuss my findings with you and/or your parents and give you tools that you can use at home or at school.
Together we determine whether more sessions are needed. Problems can be deep or the child may need more time to practice with new skills. We always make a follow-up appointment to see how things go over time.
In addition to individual coaching, I also give a course to teach children to practice in groups.
Feelgood course for when your child is not feeling well.
The beauty of a family business: you have grown up, or started, with the people you live with and trust to run a business. Unfortunately, it doesn’t always go well. If you have an argument with your manage, you can’t complain to your husband about that manager – because it’s him. Or your brother’s wife who made a mistake, your father or mother who may or may not want to hand over the business. The atmosphere and problems from home go with you to work and vice versa. Because relationships are so intertwined, it can be difficult to identify and resolve conflicts. This can be a hindrance for yourself, the business and your relationships. Loyalties to previous generations can play a role and communication can get bogged down.
Together we will look at what and who belongs to which context. From there we will enter into a dialogue in search of answers and solutions.